Hockey Hookey and other Ramblings

I hate hockey...really loathe it...not the game itself, that is exciting, fun to watch, fun to cheer on! But the practices!!! UGH!!!! Josh is gone three nights a week to his games...i wish he was home but the alone time is nice and he gets out with his friends. It does get annoying when he has been working like crazy and I have not seen him in a while but he has to run out to hockey!!
Peter also plays...he is cute, so little, he loves it!! When Josh takes him, he volunteers as a coach, the kids LIVE for Tues nights and Sat mornings.
But when Josh is working? Oh the fun! I have to rush home from work (some days it is harder then others), pick up the kids from daycare, scrounge some food.
I can say I am now pretty proficient about getting him in his gear, that I can do quickly but it is interjected with Peter telling me I am doing it in the wrong order...but he cannot remember the order either...
Once he is on the ice, I then have the fun hour is freezing in an unheated arena, entertaining a 2 year old and a 4 yeard old...who only want to run the length of the bleachers, to the annoyance of the the other watching parents. They fight and throw tantrums, complain they are hungry, whine they are cold...
Other parents give me the 'look', you know the, 'If they were MY kids...' look. Majority of the parents have one of two children, that are respectively spaced 4-5 years apart. if I only had to watch one, it would be a different story but two??
They are tired becauyse hockey ends AFTER their bedtime...and we have not even had supper...home we go, supper is quick and usually toast.
Bedtime is filled with the sounds of howling and yelling.

So, here I sit. I am so tired, work was what I call a failure. Half of the clients called on Sunday and cancelled, I go into work on Tues so I arrive and half my pay is gone already and no time to rebook. I am over tired from Kathleen being up half the night, slightly shaky from not eating (there were 6 pieces of bread left...the kids got two each, you do the math). The kids all went to bed howling, the boys are cold and tired, the house is cold from the fire not being tended all day.

I wanted to play hooky!! OH I SOOO wanted to!!! But I played hooky Saturday morning, and he missed that practice...and Josh was NOT happy. He called me this afternoon to make sure I took him down.
(***Please note that Josh has NEVER taken all three kids to hockey, directly after daycare, or working all day***)

I know my kids LOVE their activities and I want them to be involved but it is hard working a physical job (with a bum  shoulder...nother vent for nother day), on 4-5 hours of sleep, having a messy house that I have no time or energy to clean, no meals made because their is not enough time to even throw a crockpot meal together...

I should add the roads were horribly slippery because of the snow that is coming down rapidly...summer tires just aint cuttin 'it!!

I am really living for my weekends...I love the money I bring in but on days like today...I made no money. The kids are unhappy, I am unhappy...this evening would have been 100% better if I could have laid down for 15 mins, had a decent lunch, cooked a nice supper and we all ate early, little ones bathed before we left, homework done. That I could suffer out, coming home to a nice warm house, kids could go to bed knowing that if they are tired in the morning no biggie cause we have no reason to be up at the crack of dawn.

I got through my day thinking of exit strategies! I am going to start packing up the stuff that has accumulated at the shop and is not needed! I am pushing dear Joshua to get the plans ready for the home shop, I have to call my landlord and find out what steps need to be taken to leave my rental (thankful I have NO lease and it is month to month!!!)

I am trying to keep my motivation going by thinking about the things I want to buy. I need to order some stuff for my crafting. I just scored a Sizzix BigKick for $32 at Michael's! Still in original package, never opened...there was a little plastic doo-hickey that was bent and kinda broken, but when I was looking at it I realized it was a cap that comes OFF and you insert the handle into it!! I was SOOO excited because I have been price shopping and trying to find the best deal on these babies!
I did not buy any dyes yet, I am going to order them online (so much cheaper then what our local store was selling them for). I also need to order some felt...I did my research and I want wool, not the fake stuff...wool. Now the hunt for the best price and quality...

I need to order my ribbon (of course!), desperately need to get my flower stock back up (It is VERY low), order some tulle...oh ya! Craft show season is coming up...I have two shows in May...then November I have three major ones and one minor.

But my next big toy? I want a Silhouette!! Oooh!!!! Oh the fun I am gonna have with that!!! I have some BIG plans! Christmas Gifts are going to be 100% handmade by ME this year!

Where am I going to find time? Well since no one I know reads my blog, I am going to spill the beans...we are planning to start trying for a baby in April! I am REALLY excited! My baby is now 2.5 yrs, I miss having someone who wants to cuddle all the time, or can walk (I really love'em when they are immobile!)

Some people in our families do NOT want us to have more kids, we constantly get glares or speeches of why we should not have more kids, why it is a bad idea and not to dare tell them we are expecting.
With the way things are now, I can see their point, we are too busy (well I am)...but my big worry of course is the morning sickness. When I was preggers with Peter, it was not an issue, with Charlie...well there were a couple of weeks that were rough but Kathleen? it was BAD! I know I cannot go through that again and try to work.

Josh of course wants me to work till he gets the new shop completed (around August), i am thinking of a different course...more like get my orders all completed and set for craft show season, get my entries all paid. Set a wee bit of money aside...by then I will was TTC...slowly clean out my shop, have my exit plan in place. So, if and when morning sickness hits, I will be OFF, DONE, KAPUT! I would rather suffer it out at home, in privacy, then try to function as a human being working with the public!

Maybe I am jinxing myself and I I will not get MS at all? Doubt it! My gut feeling is saying I will be the same as last time.

And is all truth I want OUT!! I am not a budget er by any means but I would rather learn to be frugal and learn to budget them keep working outside the home and try to raise the family.

My mother kept saying, 'you are not superwoman', she is 100% correct, I am tired of trying to pretend I am. I know what I truly want and that is to be home with my kids. I won't mind making a little money on the side with my crafts and grooming from home but not at the pace I am going at now!