Sleeping Alone...

I never sleep alone...ever...Kathleen always makes sure that if half the bed is empty, she will occupy it happily. the trouble with Miss Kathleen is she really doesn't like to sleep...she can go on 2-3 hours in a 24 hour period...oh ya! I have never seen a kid that can eat as much and sleep as little as this monkey!

Josh and the boys are all great sleepers (when healthy...when sick, I am up hourly nursing cause you know guys and colds??), once asleep I hear nothing till 6:50am.

Me? Well, I am a former insomniac (guess where Kathleen gets her tendencies?) but since having chillans I have learned to TREASURE sleep! I still have an issue with GOING to bed at a decent hour...I just want to stay up, keep reading, keep checking things online, keep cleaning (no, not that very often, I will be honest but there have been a few times...), keep watching television.
I feel guilty because I harp at my kids and husband to go to bed at a decent hour, my kids are in bed between 6:30pm and 7pm, I kid you not. Josh falls asleep at 10pm, every night in front of the television...then I growl at him to go to bed, which he finally does around 12:30pm and I am up till 1pm...then woken 3-4 times by Kathleen...and up at 6:50am (thanks to Charles, who has an internal clock like a rooster).
Josh also works shift  work...and works night shift. I have such a hard time going to that cold bed alone, locking up for the night...not because I am nervous or scared. I have three yappy dogs that bark if a snowflake falls too hard, and yes the big guy gets nasty with strangers when Josh is not home (wonder why no one pops by in the evening??), and my parents are next door.
It is really the loneliness of doing the bedtime ritual by myself. The finality of the day...to me, it is a wee bit depressing. So, I put it off and off and off and then out of pure exhaustion I realize it is SOOO late and I am going to be SOOO tired the next morning and I dread the morning. Nice self destructive pattern!

I was at church on Sunday (yes, I FINALLY made it back!! I was sicker then a dog but I decided no more excuses, and me dying wasn't going to count), and a friend commented that when her husband worked nights she did not go to bed at all, she stays up the entire night and HATES it...I completely understood but at the same time I had one of those moments! I was not alone in this but i really have to learn to accept it and make it better in some way or form.

This shift of nights, that Josh has been working, I have been getting my chores all finished before 9pm, then I allow myself that luxury of ME time. 10pm is a nice hot bath, jammies, a book. I have made new ritual I am LOVING!! I have a cold bed, our house is ancient and COLD upstairs...our room is the worst because I keep the door shut to keep the pets out...and no warm air. So, I took a pop bottle, filled it with HOT water, nice tight cap and placed it in bed! It is SOOOO nice to slip into a bed with fleece sheets and warm bottle at my feet! My toes are so toasty warm! It literally stay warm till morning.

Kathleen always joins my bed by at least 4am and we snuggle till morning. Our days of snuggling will get less and less as she gets older. I also know that part of her problem of not sleeping is being alone is her little bedroom...she needs a sister;)

Sew what's Up?

I love to craft, I have always been crafty. Going to my grandmother's house was a treat because we would be sewing, or making crafts with fabric. My mother encouraged any art work, bought me a sewing machine when I was in grade two or three.

I always thought that when I had a baby girl I would sew her anything and everything...I would be one of THOSE mothers....well life got in the way or rather work did.

In the past few months I have been crafting up a storm, I started making hair bows, started sewing for my daughter for the FIRST time...

I am such an oddball around people I know due to the fact I owned a sewing machine, I was excited that I got a serger for Christmas...and I knew what a serger WAS!

Then I discovered CRAFT blogs!! I was so excited!!! I am still excited when I see a new post!

So I have been having a little bit of fun, learning new things, getting new ideas, trying new things and going out of my comfort zone.

My projects so far:

The headband from Prudent Baby had me grinning, I whipped my version up for Kathleen and she was quite happy with my results, not perfect but we love it:)

My next project was pure excitement because it followed a long day of trying to figure out my new serger...only to find out I was doing it correctly. 

So, I had to tackle the pillowcase dress, and yes, I did have this fabric just laying around because it was so pretty and girly...and I bought it before Kathleen was born...

Only picture I have of her wearing it...the blond twin cuties are not mine but cousins of my kiddies..cute huh?
I cannot wait till have have some free time and energy (aka no cold...) I have some BIGGER plans in mind...and I need to learn how to use power tools (told you I was going out of my comfort zone!)...Josh is scared!

Baby Power

Someone very dear to me is trying to quit smoking. Now, I have never smoked and have no idea how hard it is but I obviously understand that the struggle is tough.

She called yesterday trying to hang on to day three, she has helps in the way of meds but it was a difficult moment.

Straight to the point I asked the REAL reason why she was quitting...well she wants a baby and feels strongly about having her body clean and home clean for her child. So, as much as she LOVES cigarettes and as much as her body craves this one desire she was giving it up, making her self miserable, cranky, irritated...she wants her own family.

To give her mind ease we talked about babies, names, clothes, supplies...she felt stronger and then I had inspiration. I told her if she could hang on ONE week...just four more days, I will bring her a baby gift and a nice tote to start packing into. I will keep adding to this gift stash and when the scent and desire of smoking feels too much, go and open the 'Baby Box', smell that baby scent, look at those items and and feel the strength that you have!

When we got off the phone she said she was alright, excited and fine till the next round.

I lover her to death and I am excited to start shopping for this much wanted baby. I know there is a little one waiting and cheering her on across the veil.

Go..No, RUN!!!

I never win stuff. but here goes to hoping! I love blog's, I love what people say, what the create, how the reacte.

If you love beautiful homes and such go to the House of Smiths, her stuff is AMAZING!! Makes me wish my house were more beuatiful!

Better yet she is having a nice giveaway a lovely Silhouette!! It is on my list of things I GOTTA have!! Oh the things I will make!! I already have big plans...like a church shelf (not revealing what I totally mean till I get one!!)

The best part about the Silhouette? They will take your house from boring generic to one of the homes you sigh when you enter from contentment! I have always wanted a home that was memorable for GOOD reasons...(at the moment no one is forgetting the half finished reno's or the the falling plaster walls...

So run over and enter and hope *I* win;)

Hockey Hookey and other Ramblings

I hate hockey...really loathe it...not the game itself, that is exciting, fun to watch, fun to cheer on! But the practices!!! UGH!!!! Josh is gone three nights a week to his games...i wish he was home but the alone time is nice and he gets out with his friends. It does get annoying when he has been working like crazy and I have not seen him in a while but he has to run out to hockey!!
Peter also plays...he is cute, so little, he loves it!! When Josh takes him, he volunteers as a coach, the kids LIVE for Tues nights and Sat mornings.
But when Josh is working? Oh the fun! I have to rush home from work (some days it is harder then others), pick up the kids from daycare, scrounge some food.
I can say I am now pretty proficient about getting him in his gear, that I can do quickly but it is interjected with Peter telling me I am doing it in the wrong order...but he cannot remember the order either...
Once he is on the ice, I then have the fun hour is freezing in an unheated arena, entertaining a 2 year old and a 4 yeard old...who only want to run the length of the bleachers, to the annoyance of the the other watching parents. They fight and throw tantrums, complain they are hungry, whine they are cold...
Other parents give me the 'look', you know the, 'If they were MY kids...' look. Majority of the parents have one of two children, that are respectively spaced 4-5 years apart. if I only had to watch one, it would be a different story but two??
They are tired becauyse hockey ends AFTER their bedtime...and we have not even had supper...home we go, supper is quick and usually toast.
Bedtime is filled with the sounds of howling and yelling.

So, here I sit. I am so tired, work was what I call a failure. Half of the clients called on Sunday and cancelled, I go into work on Tues so I arrive and half my pay is gone already and no time to rebook. I am over tired from Kathleen being up half the night, slightly shaky from not eating (there were 6 pieces of bread left...the kids got two each, you do the math). The kids all went to bed howling, the boys are cold and tired, the house is cold from the fire not being tended all day.

I wanted to play hooky!! OH I SOOO wanted to!!! But I played hooky Saturday morning, and he missed that practice...and Josh was NOT happy. He called me this afternoon to make sure I took him down.
(***Please note that Josh has NEVER taken all three kids to hockey, directly after daycare, or working all day***)

I know my kids LOVE their activities and I want them to be involved but it is hard working a physical job (with a bum  shoulder...nother vent for nother day), on 4-5 hours of sleep, having a messy house that I have no time or energy to clean, no meals made because their is not enough time to even throw a crockpot meal together...

I should add the roads were horribly slippery because of the snow that is coming down rapidly...summer tires just aint cuttin 'it!!

I am really living for my weekends...I love the money I bring in but on days like today...I made no money. The kids are unhappy, I am unhappy...this evening would have been 100% better if I could have laid down for 15 mins, had a decent lunch, cooked a nice supper and we all ate early, little ones bathed before we left, homework done. That I could suffer out, coming home to a nice warm house, kids could go to bed knowing that if they are tired in the morning no biggie cause we have no reason to be up at the crack of dawn.

I got through my day thinking of exit strategies! I am going to start packing up the stuff that has accumulated at the shop and is not needed! I am pushing dear Joshua to get the plans ready for the home shop, I have to call my landlord and find out what steps need to be taken to leave my rental (thankful I have NO lease and it is month to month!!!)

I am trying to keep my motivation going by thinking about the things I want to buy. I need to order some stuff for my crafting. I just scored a Sizzix BigKick for $32 at Michael's! Still in original package, never opened...there was a little plastic doo-hickey that was bent and kinda broken, but when I was looking at it I realized it was a cap that comes OFF and you insert the handle into it!! I was SOOO excited because I have been price shopping and trying to find the best deal on these babies!
I did not buy any dyes yet, I am going to order them online (so much cheaper then what our local store was selling them for). I also need to order some felt...I did my research and I want wool, not the fake stuff...wool. Now the hunt for the best price and quality...

I need to order my ribbon (of course!), desperately need to get my flower stock back up (It is VERY low), order some tulle...oh ya! Craft show season is coming up...I have two shows in May...then November I have three major ones and one minor.

But my next big toy? I want a Silhouette!! Oooh!!!! Oh the fun I am gonna have with that!!! I have some BIG plans! Christmas Gifts are going to be 100% handmade by ME this year!

Where am I going to find time? Well since no one I know reads my blog, I am going to spill the beans...we are planning to start trying for a baby in April! I am REALLY excited! My baby is now 2.5 yrs, I miss having someone who wants to cuddle all the time, or can walk (I really love'em when they are immobile!)

Some people in our families do NOT want us to have more kids, we constantly get glares or speeches of why we should not have more kids, why it is a bad idea and not to dare tell them we are expecting.
With the way things are now, I can see their point, we are too busy (well I am)...but my big worry of course is the morning sickness. When I was preggers with Peter, it was not an issue, with Charlie...well there were a couple of weeks that were rough but Kathleen? it was BAD! I know I cannot go through that again and try to work.

Josh of course wants me to work till he gets the new shop completed (around August), i am thinking of a different course...more like get my orders all completed and set for craft show season, get my entries all paid. Set a wee bit of money aside...by then I will was TTC...slowly clean out my shop, have my exit plan in place. So, if and when morning sickness hits, I will be OFF, DONE, KAPUT! I would rather suffer it out at home, in privacy, then try to function as a human being working with the public!

Maybe I am jinxing myself and I I will not get MS at all? Doubt it! My gut feeling is saying I will be the same as last time.

And is all truth I want OUT!! I am not a budget er by any means but I would rather learn to be frugal and learn to budget them keep working outside the home and try to raise the family.

My mother kept saying, 'you are not superwoman', she is 100% correct, I am tired of trying to pretend I am. I know what I truly want and that is to be home with my kids. I won't mind making a little money on the side with my crafts and grooming from home but not at the pace I am going at now!

Waiting for Silence

It snowed last night, the sticky stuff that froze this morning. The roads are nice and slippery...I am not brave enough to venture out in our van. Summer tires are just not cutting it, the new tires are due to arrive this week. Doesn't make the driving less treacherous but it does give me a little more of a chance.

Peter had a difficult morning and we finally convinced him to go outside with his brother. They love the snow and I think if they never got wet or cold they would stay out till bedtime. Last night they begged to be allowed to play in the dark, didn't happen, maybe some evening when their father is home but not now. I worry too much about them, plus it is hard to watch them from the windows if i cannot see them.

Kathleen is fussing and wailing only like Kathleen can. She is miserable because of some molars trying to peek through her little gums. My kids have never been 'easy' teethers but Kathleen takes the cake. She is miserable, feels rotten and is making sure everyone knows it!! Trying to get her to nap it like trying to cuddle a porcupine! It can be done but who wants to go through with it?? The alternative of letting her stay up? No, I prefer MY sanity!! By 5pm she will start screaming that will last till 6:30pm...IF she falls asleep or we go into the realm of over tiredness...then the game is over and no one wins.

I only had to work three days this week, one day I cancelled due to another snowstorm. I LOVE staying home!! I really do! I never get bored, I have so much to do, things get done, laundry get folded and put away, dishes washed, yummy suppers concocted. I thinking today I would love make doughnuts...I have not made them since university days. I only made them once and they turned out but I have yet to even try them again.

Josh commented the other day that the number of loaves of bread we consume is staggering...I mentioned it would probably be cheaper to make it...another project for when I get to stay home permanently!

I do feel guilty about the thought of staying home! I am always wondering what my good and loyal clients would think? They have been coming to my shop every 4-6 weeks, faithfully staying with me and keeping my business going. But my shop is 40+ minutes away from my house, the drive is getting to me, my babysitting fees are over $800 a month, my rent is going up, I pay over $100 a week in gas, wear and tear on the car...I do make a good income but I could work from home and do only 20% of the work and make more money.

But some grooming injuries are showing up...back issues, a rotary cuff that is damaged, carpal tunnel, sciatica (and to think that while pregnant I worked and worked HARD with all these fun ailments!)...it is getting worse and worse and I do not want to rely on pills to get me through the day...knowing if I just stopped working like I do I wouldn't have problems.

Sad, us groomers love our jobs but the job doesn't love our bodies:(

While writing this post Kathleen feel asleep to the rhythmic sounds of me clicking on the keys.

The Couch War

You would think that a blog,as such titles, would be referring to couch space, who takes up too much room, or the kids fighting on the couch...but no.

This fight is between me and the dogs. (I gave up on the cat, cause he is down right evil and never obeys).

Before we had kids we had dogs, two cute little yorkies...and then we started our family and added a standard poodle...and more kids...
We spoiled our dogs because we, frankly, felt guilty. Guilty because they don't get walked as often as they should, don't get played with are often ignored and hushed and pushed aside due to the two legged children coming first. So, we let them on the couches. They cuddled with us, kept our spots warm, snuggled in blankets on the couch and made us say, 'Awwww!' at their cuteness.

No biggie? Well, now a new problem has emerged...and it stinks. Well. the couches stink. They smell like dog...and it is GROSS! I will admit I was nasally (is that a word?) blind. I could not smell it...I mean I work with dogs all day, and my dogs are probably slightly cleaner then the dogs I groom daily. Coming home I never smelled a thing.

Then we renovated and the couches were moved temporarily into a new room and for some strange reason my nose woke up in the strange surrounding and could smell the couches!

I think I turned red...and I was alone...I was THAT embarrassed!! How gross! How nasty!! I hate doggy smells!! ( I know someone is scratching their head wondering if I hate doggy smells that bad why I work as a dog groomer...well I make that gross smell go away!!). My girlfriend has a house full of dogs and cats and it NEVER smells doggie, it just smells clean at all times.

There is only one solution, get the couches professionally cleaned...but what would be the point if the stinkier-then-I-realized dogs get back on it...

I went to Costco and bought a nice large round dog bed, all for $22.47 (gotta love a deal) and brought that home...and officially BANNED the dogs from the couch.
Sounds easy?

Well my dogs are spoiled, and daily, hourly, ever 10 minutes...defy my orders and jump back on and I yell, 'OFF!' and they glare, I then stand up and stamp my foot and yell again and sometimes they stand up (hoping I will forget what I just said) and turn around and lay down again to go back to sleep...

But the key to training a dog is to be smarter and more stubborn then the dog.

The battle continues...I keep kicking them off the couch and they keep trying to get back on...it is working a little, now and then they voluntarily go to the huge dog bed by themselves without me ordering them there and now they get off the couch at one command because they know I am not letting them get away with nuttin...

I am a sad little woman cause I am so excited to get the couches all clean!!!