Monday, January 10, 2011

Bad Mormon

Ya, I said secret here, we are bad Mormons.

In any other religion being born into a religion is enough, if you were born into a Jewish family, you are and always (unless you convert) Jewish, and the same of Catholics and Anglicans...but Latter Day Saints? You ARE or you are 'inactive'...or our pet term, 'Bad'.

We have a terrible record of inactivity, we will be faithful, going weekly, 'good' Mormons for months and months. For no apparent reason we stop. Jobs change, schedules get tight and we find excuses.

One Sunday I had every intention of attending, the kids were excited because they LOVE church and Miss Kathleen decided to get up at 4am and stay up...the kind of night where she screams and fusses and 8am I was such a zombie and so tired. I knew I wasn't safe to drive an hour on icy roads with no snow tires (we keep meaning to get them but saving $1000 for tires has not been easy with me off work!).

The last Sunday I was in the mind set that I was going no matter what...and to find out that both boys have no good church shoes, their little feet...well frankly they are not so little anymore. I could NOT take my kids to church wearing big clunk snow boots or ratty dirty sneakers...(yes, my ego and pride got in the way...sounds petty...okay it IS petty!!!)

Some Sundays, Josh needs the van for work (we share a vehicle cause we are cheap), the weather does not always cooperate, or kids sick or us sick...

But we try to keep the Spirit in out homes. We do bless our meals, have evening prayers, read scriptures, do bible stories, sing hymns (well what I call singing...never in tune but thank goodness for online church music!!!). We watch online church messages and General Conference we watch it all as a family (if you count the kids playing, fighting, wrestling...being snapped at to be reverent, answering questions....)

I am always ashamed at our inactivity. It is hard some days being an hour away from our ward, and being the only LDS family in our town. I know we have to try harder.

I really try to go DEEPER and find out why I am such a slacker? I LOVE my faith! I love how I feel when we leave! I love dressing up and seeing my kids all nicely dressed....what is my problem?

I am sure there are thousands of other LDS families in the same mindset, falling away from the church is so easy!

 I will admit I hate going without my husband. Josh works shift works and has months when he works every single weekend. Trying to manage all three kids alone is never is honestly stressful and makes me grit my teeth.
My other great excuse is that all week I am so busy with work and kids, and activites and Satuday there is hockey...and Sunday there is no pressing obligation to go anywhere...(sad thinking I know!!!!)

I really should have no excuse...there is a lady in my ward with many more kiddos then me and is ALWAYS there...I can barely function when I am over tired, but I need a backup plan.

I am hoping this post will shame me enough to get my bottom moving and get myself to church.

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